Long story short, in the process of switching meds, and the insurance is taking a long time for approval. I've been a week on minimal to no meds. I'm really not doing so well. I sent a message to the insurance yesterday, and I'm hoping I'll hear back something positive. ADHD meds really do make a massive difference. Right now, I feel on the verge of crying, freaked out, and lost. I have no idea how to get things done. Irrationally afraid of asking my husband for help, because sometimes he is not patient, and I am very touchy. I wish I had more to say, but I just feel really low, lower than I've felt in a long time. Help.
I believe I am on the right cocktail of medications. I feel regulated, and for the first time in literally decades that I feel normal.
But on the flip side of this coin, another thng has started to pop up. Revelations on how I've been masking this ADHD (And the comorbidities that share the clown car), and now having to navigate what is my new normal rather than the masking that I thought was how it was supposed to be done for years, and not realizing I was masking until I started to unmask. Its very strange. Its like having a new face. Its also like that thing that you were afraid to show everyone growing up, and you have to live with the realization that I have to learn to show it. So frustrating because I am middle aged now, and I feel like I'm in primary school, with my 9 year old daughter being more emotionally mature than me. This "detox" is killing me.
Its hard on my husband, because he is stressed with everything, and also suspects he has undiagnosed "pure o" OCD. Its a crazy cocktail. I pray for my children constanty.